Saturday, January 24, 2015

Spousal Miscommunication

Now that my husband and I have retired to our condo, we’re spending a lot more time together. This has made me realize that I’m having increasing difficulty understanding what he’s saying to me. This may have always been a problem, but I just didn’t notice it because we spent so little time together. I assume that age plays a role. Whatever the reason for this spousal miscommunication, I’ve now categorized and charted the condition. See which types you recognize in your own relationships.

A.     You hear and understand everything that is said       10%
B.     You don’t hear at all                                                              25%
C.     You mishear what is said                                                     30%
D.    What he says doesn’t make sense                                     23%
E.     What he says isn’t what he means                                    12%


Why You Don’t Hear At All
A.     You’re watching TV                                                                20%
B.     You’re on your computer                                                      32%
C.     You’re reading a book/magazine                                        20%
D.    You’re going through the mail                                                8%
E.     You’re taking a nap                                                                    5%
F.     You’ve had 2 glasses of wine                                                 15%

Why You Mishear What Is Said
A.     He has food in his mouth                                                         15%
B.     He’s muttering into his chest                                                  25%
C.     He has chin in hand, which is covering his mouth            20%
D.    He has his back to you and has water running                   30%
E.     He’s in another room and thinks you’re there, too           10%

Why What He Says Doesn’t Make Sense
A.     He’s reading from a webpage and mispronouncing things  35%
B.     He’s changed the subject in the middle of a sentence            25%
C.     You’re in bed and you have earplugs in                                         8%
D.    He’s tired and he’s speaking Hindi                                               10%
E.     You’ve had 3 glasses of wine                                                          22%

Why What He Says Isn’t What He Means
A.     He’s using indefinite antecedents again (Which “he”? Who “they”?) 30%
B.     He has confused the time sequence of events                                  25%
C.     He has used one of his classic malapropisms                                   22%
D.    He doesn’t actually know what he means                                          15%
E.     He’s had just one sip of your wine                                                         8%

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