Things That Are Scarier Than the Election

Like many Americans, I find the discussions surrounding the upcoming presidential election distressing. The prospect of who might win in November is a major source of anxiety for me. In hopes of making this blog less political, I won’t say which person alarms me the most, but you can probably guess.

Some people cope with their fears by going to a shrink, but that’s not an option for me. Those professionals are inundated with new clients; plus I’m on a fixed income. I’ve been considering other ways to address this problem. I’ve come up with a surefire way to stop worrying about who will be our next president. I’m gathering ideas that are even scarier than the possible (or—bite my tongue—probable) election results.

I considered fear of an economic meltdown and spiraling health care costs, but they cause me only mild agita. Besides, those are either cyclical, or their trajectory can be altered with committed changes in policy.  The explosive growth of bulletproof clothing and backpacks aren’t personally relevant for me. If I want to block out the election process, I need to focus on worries that will be irreversible and that hit me directly.

The first one that came to mind that met that criterion is our environment. And by “our” I mean the world’s. The consequences of climate change are just one aspect of what gives me a knot in my stomach. The arctic permafrost is thawing and there’s no return from that. There’s also air pollution, water contamination and the destruction of habitats for endangered species. Denial of global warming is just the tip of the environmental destruction iceberg. The rollback of regulations that were put into place to protect our world is making the prospects for our future even scarier. This is definitely something to keep me awake at night.

Here’s something else to keep me up: fake news. I’m not talking about the countless lies that are promulgated on Facebook and certain cable channels. I’m terrified about the direction that improved technology is taking us. Video editing capabilities are advancing rapidly. They will soon reach the point where even the most experienced techies will not be able to determine if a piece of taped footage has been altered.

I’m not talking about those ham-fisted memes any of us can tell have been doctored. In the future, even the experts won’t be able to detect fake pieces. That means one party to an argument will be able to put someone’s face on someone else’s body. They’ll be able to cobble together audio of a person’s voice to say things they never uttered in reality. This scares me even more than 1984’s Big Brother. Simply put, none of us will know what news is true and what’s fake.

If I reach the point where I’m inured to threats to our environment (unlikely) and to fabricated reality (a distinct possibility), there will always be mega companies like Amazon, Google and Facebook to set off my alarm bells. Some folks would include Apple on this list, but I’m a die-hard Mac user, so Apple doesn’t bother me. These giants are controlling more and more of our daily lives. From the products we use and consume to the information to which we’re exposed, a handful of Goliaths are spreading their tentacles ever deeper into our existence.

They’re increasingly forcing mom and pop operations out of business; not just brick and mortar stores, but also smaller on-line companies. Why “shop small” if you can get it cheaper on Amazon, and delivered quickly, at that? And you can’t easily buy from a local supplier if you can’t find them when you search using a monopolistic engine.

The end point of this control is that eventually we could all be doing the equivalent of driving black Ford Model-T’s in many aspects of our lives. Trading choice for convenience. And we won’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late. Trivia note: from 1914 through 1925, the only color the Model T came in was black. If Facebook continues to expand, we may be unable to escape the manipulation of our social media lives as well. Scary prospects indeed.

So here are three trends that could easily paralyze me if I contemplate them too much. Their one redeeming quality is that they keep me from stressing over the upcoming presidential election. Right now that’s a swap I’m willing to accept. Feel free to make suggestions for other scary thoughts for me to consider. November is a long way away.

Copyright 2020 Business Theatre Unlimited

Banned Words and Phrases 2020

Apologies to those who have been awaiting my annual list of banned words and phrases. An end-of-year crisis with the water in our house put me off my game. The winter concert for the community band I’m in consumed the first week of January. I’ve come up for air, but only just realized that I’m well past my due date for this post. As with the lists for 2018 and 2019, many of my 2020 entries come from the political arena and the media, which these days are pretty much synonymous sources.

My first and most obvious choice to ban is ‘quid pro quo’. There’s no way to deny the need to get rid of this phrase. Since I’m late with my list this year, I’m aware that Lake Superior State University has already claimed this as the single most suggested word/phrase to ban in 2020. Good on them.

I’m compelled to revisit (but not count for 2020) several words that were previously banned but are like those burs that stick to your clothes and you can’t get rid of them. We still have the ubiquitous ‘fake news’ and ‘collusion’ that I banned in 2018, and ‘witch hunt’ that I banned in 2019. This year, let’s pull the plug on another of 45’s favorites: ‘hoax.’ Like the other three, it’s been used so fraudulently that it no longer has any meaning. I want to give them all a mass interment.

Let’s face it. As long as 45 is in office, no list of my banned words and phrases is complete without a few hopeless entries. Here’s another one on my ‘wishful thinking’ sub-list. No more ‘temper tantrums.’ You can’t talk about them and our national toddler-in-chief can’t have them. I know. Good luck with that.

Here’s one without any political influence. I’m done with ‘Period. Full stop.’ This is a classic example of redundancy. Use one or the other. Make a decision. Period. End of story. Or end of paragraph anyway.

I’m begging Madison Avenue to find alternative ways to talk about issues ‘down there’. Stop tormenting us with Cottonelle’s “Down There Care.” Eeeuw! But it’s not just toilet paper commercials that use that. There are many other ads with this phrase, touting everything from better hygiene and manscaping to sexual performance issues. (I can just imagine the ads I’ll be seeing after researching this phrase.)

The expression ‘Excuse Me’ is a passive-aggressive response when used by someone who has been interrupted, especially during an interview. It means: “I’m asking you to excuse me when what I really want to communicate is that I have no intention of excusing you for interrupting me.” Oh, snap! (By the way, I love ‘snap!’ so don’t expect me to ban that anytime soon.) But fie on ‘excuse me.’

Here are two phrases that are over-used by candidates in the Democratic primary. I’m done with ‘The fact of the matter is…’ Sorry, Joe Biden. Find another way to bridge the temporal gap between your brain process and your mouth delivery. I’m also so over Elizabeth Warren’s ‘A Plan for That.’ It seems like she’s cut back on this recently, so maybe she’ll be cool with giving it up altogether. Unfortunately, in the final debate before the Iowa caucuses, Amy Klobochar picked up Elizabeth’s pet phrase. Pundits called her out on it, so let’s hope it was a one-off. (Ditto for 45’s term in office.)

As a fan of The View and Saturday Night Live, I should feel bad about my next entry on this year’s banned list. Thank you, Joy Behar, for providing ‘Who cares?’ and the variation ‘So what?’ I’m also including ‘Says who?’ which is close enough to join the other two in a single entry. SNL actors will have to find other ways to parody Joy, because I care. Anyone who worries about the state of the environment and any number of other important issues should also care.

Finally, I’m outlawing my personal bugaboo: ‘Chillax.’ Have you ever heard someone say: “I’m going to chillax today”? Of course not. This ‘chill’ and ‘relax’ hybrid is never used in the first person. It’s always directed at someone else. Especially someone openly decrying what’s happening to our world, our earth, our almost everything. When I’m told to chillax, I just get more riled up than I was to start with. No matter how well-meaning you might be, telling someone to chillax never deescalates the situation. Even though you'll want to use it a lot this year, just strike it from your verbal tool kit.

There you have it—this year’s list of ten deplorables. I trust it was worth the wait.

Copyright 2020 Business Theatre Unlimited