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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Retirement Transition - Signs It’s Time to retire

This week it hit home for me that if you pay attention, you’ll see clear signals when it’s time to retire. Here are some that I’ve uncovered.

You know it’s time to retire when:
You come home from work following an afternoon snowstorm to find that one of your neighbors shoveled your drive and your walk without your even having to ask. [OMG! We’re now that elderly couple in the neighborhood that everyone feels sorry for.]

You know it’s time to retire when:
The store manager who never offered to carry your 20-pound bag of cat litter to the car wants to know if you need help with a box of Clementines.

You know it’s time to retire when:
The same alarm clock that used to jolt you out of bed the second it went off can no longer rouse you from your sleep enough to provoke you to hit the snooze button. [Maybe it was the wine…]

You know it’s time to retire when:
You look forward to spending some time doing a few loads of laundry and you feel like you’ve won the lottery when all the socks match.

You know it’s time to retire when:
You get excited at the prospect of shredding a stack of paperwork, especially ten-year-old tax returns. [And older.]

You know it’s time to retire when:
Two out of three messages on your answering machine are prescription pick-up reminders for you or your spouse. [Don’t you just love that auto-refill service?]

You know it’s time to retire when:
Your computer calendar has more doctors’ appointments on it than business meetings. [Like mine next week.]

And finally, you know it’s time to retire when:
The progression of what you wear in winter goes (for women) from just a bra under your top, to an undershirt over your bra, to just an undershirt. [“Perky” has lost its appeal, especially in cold weather.] And (for men) from a dress shirt and tie to a sweater vest over a sport shirt to a plaid flannel shirt over thermal underwear.

If you recognize three of more of these signs in your own life, you should be a regular follower of Retirement Sparks, because your own retirement can’t be far over the horizon. I’ve seen all the signs, so I shall lead the way into that mysterious black rabbit hole. If you don’t keep hearing from me via regular blog posts, send reinforcements.

On second thought, send chocolate. And wine, of course.

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