I’m expecting a lot of changes to come along with retirement, but this past week or so has been flooded with changes that have nothing to do with my impending transition. It’s just too much to wrap my brain around all at once.
Watching Live with Regis and Kelly was not top of the list of things I planned to do once I’ll be home during the day. But this week, Regis Philbin announced he’s stepping down from his co-hosting spot of about ninety years. This on top of Oprah shutting down her show has me worried that there may be nothing left on daytime TV about which I can feel smug for not watching.
Then there’s the new size drink that Starbucks is offering. It’s called a Trenta and it’s 31 ounces, or 50 percent bigger than their previous mouthful, the Venti. I’m not a coffee drinker, but I occasionally have a cup of tea at Starbucks. It took me several trips to figure out the Venti, but now it sounds like the Trenta may be a good size for iced tea. Meanwhile, rumor has it that they are about to introduce yet another size, to commemorate all the baby boomers who will soon be retiring. This new 65-ounce drink will be called the Sessanta, but it will be nicknamed the “bladder buster.” Can’t wait.
The ultimate blow however, is the news that I am no longer a Virgo. Yup. Some astronomer in Minnesota pointed out that since the signs of the Zodiac were based on the earth’s relationship to the sun, they went out of whack hundreds of years ago. It has something to do with the earth’s orbit around the sun changing slightly every year. The proposed new Zodiac would make me a Leo, not quite on the cusp of Virgo. This is very upsetting to me, as I’ve always recognized myself as a classic Virgo. Much as I love felines, I’m not sure I’ll be comfortable in the skin of a lion. (And no snide comments about my fitting in a virgin’s skin, thank you.)
I shouldn’t really complain. The poor folks born between November 29 and December 17 now have a new sign altogether. It’s called Ophiuchus, which means "the serpent-bearer." The symbol is not at all appealing, but the name sounds positively obscene. And I ask you crossword puzzle fans out there, have you ever done a puzzle that had Ophiuchus as the answer to “constellation around the celestial equator?”
What could be a problem, though, is that my husband is now smack in the middle of Sagittarius. I have no idea if that sign is compatible with Leo. We had our charts cast before we married, to make sure we were well-suited to one another. All boded well for the union of a Virgo and a Capricorn. I guess we’ll have to get our charts redone to make sure we should stay together after 19 years.
My optimistic self says we’re probably still well-aligned. But given all the upheaval from this week, it would be just my luck to find out I should be spending my time with an Ophiuchus. The one-time virgin matched with a man with a serpent… Talk about Freudian symbolism. That prospect calls for a fresh bottle of wine…