Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Retirement Transitions - More on the New Zodiac

Those of you who read my last post and were worried about whether my husband and I would still be compatible under the revised Zodiac can rest easy. I looked up Leo and Sagittarius in Linda Goodman’s Love Signs. Best I can tell, we’re as well-suited to each other as a lioness and an archer as we were when I was the virgin and he was the goat. That is to say, not the best astrological match, but once we understand one another’s quirks, we can work things out if we’re willing to put in some effort.

This is a good thing, not just because it means I won’t have to go looking for a new partner as I retire, and hence dealing with yet more change in my life. You may recall that I was worried that the stars would point toward a pairing of Leo with that new sign, Ophiuchus, and I’ve uncovered some disturbing qualities about Ophiuchus.

Ophiuchi are known to be doctors (the caduceus, or medical staff, is based on their serpent.) They’re also supposedly good interpreters of dreams and have vivid premonitions. In my book, that combination spells “shrink.” Given how weird my dreams have been lately, I’m not sure it would be a good idea to have someone else poking around in them looking for meaning.

Supposedly Ophiuchi are flamboyant dressers and are drawn to bright colors, especially plaids. (Go figure.) They’re described as eccentric and quirky, but I blame that on the flamboyant plaids, especially for males of this sign. They’ve also been called fun-loving, with magnetic personalities, but I’m guessing it’s those plaids again that draw the crowds around them. Or it could be that lyre they’re always plunking away on.

My sleuthing has uncovered another little known trait of this new Zodiac sign. Turns out, they have an unhealthy attraction to their parent of the opposite sex. Bad things have been known to happen, especially to fathers of male Ophiuchi, who (ironically) are supposedly favored by their dads (and other authority figures.) In yet another display of irony, Ophiuchi dislike authority and regulations. In other words, they are generally members of the Tea Party.

There seem to be a lot of contradictions surrounding those born under this new sign. On the one hand, they’re credited with having a lot of creativity, imagination and curiosity. On the other, they’re supposedly lazy and prone to procrastination. Likewise, though fun-loving, they’re also described as prone to bouts of depression. Some fun. Maybe they should pair with one another, so they could deconstruct each other’s dreams to figure out why they’re in the dumps.

Which brings me to the two absolute deal breakers as far as pairing me with an Ophiuchus. They’re not big on monogamous relationships. The last thing I need as I drift off into retirement is a philandering partner. If I didn’t actually kill him, I’d certainly dream about it. And the wine bills would bankrupt me.

And finally, Ophiuchi dislike irrelevant and trivial information. Here I stand, the master of the trivial, the lover of a meandering stroll down a side path of irrelevant recollection. No, I could never abide a partner from that Zodiac sign. Give me my new Sagittarius (or my old Capricorn.) I’m more than willing to put in the effort to keep it working with him, quirks and all.

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