Saturday, December 24, 2011

Retirement Christmas — The Nativity as Told by Elaine’s Trees

In celebration of Christmas, herewith The Nativity, as told by Elaine’s Christmas trees. There are three this year: two large live ones, and the small artificial one that’s especially for the cats.

Whimsical animals, handmade craft items  –  Cats’ tree  –  Gold, silver, crystal and china

Most of you think it was an angel of the Lord that appeared to Mary with the news that she would be the mother of the Son of God. Actually, it was her fairy godmother who told her she was preggers.
Angel of God    —    Fairy godmother

It was Mary’s bad luck that she and Joseph had to make a long trip around the time she was due. Something about doing a census so the voting districts could be better aligned to the population. So they loaded her onto a zebra and set off for Bethlehem.

Not surprisingly, there was no room at the inn when they showed up without a reservation, what with all those alumni coming back. Fortunately, they found shelter in a manger, where Mary gave birth to Baby Jesus.

The birth was announced by a choir of angels and by angels with herald trumpets,

and by other celestial creatures with regular trumpets.

Bells rang out throughout the land.

The birth was so miraculous that it actually snowed in Bethlehem, but they couldn’t find anyone to shovel on Christmas Day.

Shepherds came to pay their respects, bringing their sheep along with them

They tended their flocks by night, but by day, they let the sheep wander all around Bethlehem. This was really tough on people wearing sandals.

The locals were a forgiving lot, though, so they honored the Newborn by performing a ballet for His family. It may have been the Nutcracker, or perhaps the Firebird, or even Swan Lake. The Bible is unclear on the details.

Likewise to honor Him came three wise men from the East,

who followed a bright star in the sky. There were several bright stars, so it took them awhile to find the right manger. Also, they were all men, so they didn’t bother to get directions.

They came by camel, ostrich and giraffe.

Yes, giraffe.

Maybe not by ostrich. It could have been lions.

Or maybe elephants. The Bible isn’t really clear on this, either.

More likely it was by zebra, like Mary.

The wise men brought gifts of gold, kesari incense (now the most popular brand sold at Spectrum India), and myrrh.  The last of these was often misspelled as ‘mirth,’ which is how we came to think of Christmas as an especially jolly time.
Less known are other presents that the various visitors brought with them.

Then God told Joseph that Herod was going to come looking for Baby Jesus, so the Holy Family got back on their zebra and left town.

(Note that the zebra is now headed in the opposite direction…)

And that, my friends, is the true story of the Nativity, as told by my Christmas trees.

To those of you who are thinking: “Yeah, right. When pigs fly.” I say:
From your mouth to God’s ear.

Merry Christmas, one and all! And Happy Hanukkah to many!

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