My Love-Hate Affair with Texting

When I had my dumb flip-phone, I hated texting. I almost never sent texts. If someone texted me, I was likely to not discover the message until days after it was sent. Even if I saw it the same day, I’d usually respond via a phone call. To me texting was an evil tool, invented by service providers to extract more money out of you. Part of my distaste no doubt came from the fact that on the dumb phones, there was no keyboard as such. If I needed the letter C, for instance, I had to tap the A key three times, and so on.

A few months ago, I was forced to upgrade to an iPhone to improve my reception. My flip-phone frequently dropped calls mid-conversation, but it was too dumb to connect to the Wi-Fi in our condo. I’m learning to use some of the features that my new phone affords.

For example, I entered most of my regular contacts into it and set specific ringtones for certain groups. Calls coming from my immediate family, all dog lovers, bark for my attention. The Protectors of Animals folks quack for me. My husband has his own alert, called Sherwood Forest. It sounds a bit like herald trumpets to me, so I tell everyone it’s my lord and master calling.

It seems that the people who live in our condo community are fond of texting in lieu of calling. I’m gradually becoming accustomed to checking for messages at least once a day. To my surprise, I’ve discovered that texting can actually be more convenient than calling. For one thing, I can control the amount of time expended on the exchange.

The iPhone has a keyboard, but it’s easy to make mistakes with it. I have small hands, but apparently I have fat fingertips. I frequently get the letter one over from the one I want and have to use the backup “key” to correct it.

I used to wonder how folks making jokes about the auto-complete (not the auto-correct) could possibly have been the victims of such seemingly random substitutions by their “smart” phones. That was until I noticed that my iPhone has a bar above the message area that provides suggested completions for words I’m typing. As I key in more letters, the suggestions change, presumably getting more refined.

There’s probably some algorithm for words used most often by frequent texters. The iPhone gives you three choices it deems most common, supposedly based on the letters keyed thus far. Clearly their frequent texters have a different vocabulary than I do. I’m usually down to my last letter before the word I’m keying in shows up in the choices, if at all. That makes the auto-complete feature a distraction for me. It also causes me to send some messages as strange as the ones I used to scoff at.

Here’s another thing I don’t like about the iPhone texting setup. The “send” button is on the upper right. That’s where the correction button is on the dialing keyboard. More than once I meant to correct something in an incomplete message, but sent it instead, generating a “Huh?” reply from the recipient. To which I texted back: “Premature ejaculation.”

One use I’ve discovered for texting that has led to my nascent love affair with it came to me a few days ago. I was in a meeting that seemed like it would drag on forever. The committee chair got up and slipped out quietly. His presence had been an especially calming factor for me. I texted him after a few minutes, asking if he was coming back. (He was not.) We then exchanged several messages, a welcome distraction for me.

I bought a texting stick at one of those dollar stores. It’s useful for keying in longer messages. I keep it on a table in our family room, so I didn’t have it with me in that meeting. I can see that the texting stick is going to be like my reading glasses. I’ll stash one in every room and in my purse and in my briefcase. That won’t fix all of the things I find annoying about texting, but it will help. I just have to accept that this is going to be a love-hate affair. I can live with that.

Consumer Electronics Gone Haywire

The 2014 International Consumer Electronics Show has unplugged from Las Vegas, leaving TV news to look beyond trendy wearable devices to fill their tech voids. There’s no shortage of other electronics-related stories. We’re still hearing shoes dropping after Target’s hacked credit card debacle, with Neiman Marcus admitting they, too, have been breached. At least three other major retailers are rumored to be untying their wing tips to prepare for an announcement.

I decided to take a closer look at the personal relationship we have with technology, beginning at the CES and those wearable devices. Things you put on your wrist—fitness trackers, health monitors, tricked out watches—were especially popular.

Scott Stein of CNET tells us the Fitbit Force excels at counting steps, but Nike’s FuelBand SE works better as a watch. The Force retails for $130 and the FuelBand SE for $150. The Pebble Watch, on the other hand (no, really—worn on Stein’s other hand), is a “smart watch.” It also costs $150, but needs the release of new apps and features to achieve Mensa status. The next-generation Pebble Steel will supposedly accomplish that for just an additional $100.

Since I have a perfectly serviceable Seiko watch, let’s turn our attention to health monitors. These can be useful for seniors, but manufacturers are still shaking out the bugs. Some Fitbit wearers developed skin rashes due to allergies to the nickel in the band. Another device provided invalid information on some health condition. I don’t recall the details, but I remember thinking it wasn’t trivial. Those are just two reasons to have trust issues with these items.

If hackers can get into retailers’ systems and pilfer personal information from your credit cards, imagine what a determined hawker of “medical” products could do with your health monitor. That wristband that provides regular readings of your blood pressure? It will recommend a pricey salt substitute to get things under control. Once you buy it: Surprise! Surprise! The band congratulates you on miraculously getting your pressure down overnight, thus assuring repeat purchases.

The website Zensorium promises that their Tinké health monitor will help you “Find Your Zen,” but you’ll need a smartphone app to get there. Speaking of finding things using your smartphone, what may be the best new gadget for seniors is the StickRTrackR. It uses sensors ($30 each) that alert you if your keys get too far from your phone. I have no clue how you find your smartphone if you’ve lost that. Maybe you put a sensor on your own body to get an alert if you wander too far from the phone.

Another popular category was Home Monitoring Devices. Belken’s WeMo is on the simpler end. They describe it as “a family of simple, ingenious products that make life easier, simpler, better.” WeMo controls your home electronics via your smartphone. Sounds simple enough, provided one has a smartphone, which I simply don’t.

ISmart Alarm claims to have “the best smartphone-enabled home security and home control system.” It has contact sensors and motion sensors, an ICamera (for “real-time monitoring and picture notification”) and Remote Tags. The tags seem like a sophisticated version of StickRTrackR. You can use them to control the system remotely and to track children and pets. If I had one of those, I’d use it to find out where my husband had fallen asleep. It would save a lot of stair climbing.

The new consumer electronics offer everything from the proverbial sublime to the ridiculous. (Did I mention the Petbit fitness tracker for your dog or cat?) You may think I’m overreacting to worry about consumer electronics going haywire, but I’m not the only one who envisions this. (Stay with me here.)

One of the more unusual new movies is Her, starring Joaquin Phoenix as a lonely introvert who is in the process of getting divorced. He falls in love with his computer’s talking operating system. It’s not just any computer; it’s artificial intelligence that responds to his psychological and emotional needs (and in Scarlett Johansson’s voice). Think Siri on steroids. Or mood enhancers. Her gives new meaning to “software.” It also serves as a cautionary tale about the consumer electronics in our lives.

Who can say where we’re headed with all these devices? One thing’s for certain: our government isn’t the only place that Big Brother lurks. We can’t stop that train, but we can figure out the best way to use it to our benefit. I suppose I’ll have to invest in a smart phone eventually, but staying dumb has its advantages. It’s like having a hearing aid that you can turn down when you want to tune out. There’s a lot to be said for disengaging and sitting back with a good book and a nice glass of wine. On that note...

Retirement Tools - An App for That

Retirement is a time when it makes sense to adopt new technology; it can make our lives so much easier. Fortunately, we have plenty of time to become familiar with new things. Unfortunately, the ETrade baby is more tech savvy than much of the generation that witnessed Woodstock and Watergate. (He even has more hair than many of us.)

Among the newer tools are the apps for smart phones. For those out of touch with the lingo, “app” is short for “application,” not “aptitude,” but you do need some skill to use these. My cell phone is stupid; it’s for emergencies and travel and has a 100 minutes per month limit. I never text; that costs extra. I don’t even know if the phone takes pictures.

Nonetheless, when I hear: “There’s an app for that,” it piques my curiosity. So, for those with phones that are smarter than mine (which would be most, if not all, of you…), I’ve researched some of the newest, coolest, most useful apps for retirees.

The first of these is Apple’s Find My iPhone, which gives you a map showing where your phone is. It’s not clear how a map on the phone you can’t find can help you locate that phone. However, I have it on good authority that variations will be available shortly that will pinpoint your car in a multi-story parking garage and your reading glasses anywhere in your house, including on top of your head. Now those are apps that retirees are waiting for.

Another good app is Word Lens. The original was developed to translate printed material between English and Spanish. You’ll want to get the up ‘til now top secret "big print" version, which is in beta testing. Point your smart phone at any printed info and it will magnify it to the level you’ve specified. This will be especially helpful if you’ve misplaced your reading glasses and don’t have the Find My Glasses app. As your eyesight gets progressively worse, just key in the new magnification and you’re back in business. That’s an app worth getting a smart phone for.

If you’re a retirochondriac (see recent post on that,) you’ll want to get the WebMD app to search your symptoms. Few people know about its companion MedAlert app that tracks down your physician with an emergency page. The app is smart enough to figure out which doctor from your lengthy contact list handles the condition involved. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m not even sure who handles what in my healthcare.

The gardeners among you will want the Weed Wacker app. Snap a photo of any emerging greenery (or brownery) and the app will tell you whether to pull it, pluck it, mulch it or fertilize it. The game Trade Nations is described as “best played in short, productive bursts.” Talk about an app made in heaven for retirees. I wish my entire day could be spent in short, productive bursts. Puzzle Agent promises an “engrossing experience” that combines “classic adventure games with thought-provoking puzzles.” I've reached the age where most puzzles are engrossing or thought-provoking. I don’t need an app for that.

Many apps do price comparisons, but I decided to check out Budget Police. With most retirees on fixed budgets, it sounded like a sure winner. You key in your weekly spending allocation and your proposed shopping list. It prioritizes your purchases and tells you where to get them at the best price. If your list goes over budget, it deletes the items it decides you don’t need. I did a test run with Budget Police. It deleted the wine off my list and said I was over quota for the month. You can be sure I won’t be upgrading to a smart phone to get an app that tells me I can’t buy wine.

N.O.V.A.2 is a game app that arms you with futuristic powers, like slowing down time, an invaluable tool for a retiree. I hear that N.O.V.A.3 (due out next year) will enable you to aim your phone at any part of your body and relieve the symptoms of arthritis. N.O.V.A.4 (still under development) will work similarly, but will burn off fat. I’m on the advance purchase list for that one. If it really works, I’d like to join the Artisanal Chocolate of the Month Club. I wonder if there’s an app for that…