Savoring Small Pleasures

In preparation for retirement, I jettisoned many possessions. Some were more difficult to part with than others. If I had a do-over on my downsizing, I’d approach it differently. After several years in our condo, I’ve begun to accumulate “stuff” again. I realize this contradicts advice from experts and flies in the face of popular tidying up trends.

As part of my downsizing process, I went through multiple closets of clothes, shelves of books, and every nook and cranny in the kitchen and pantry. My collecting long ago jumped the shark to become hoarding. I managed to downsize my collections by getting rid of them in their totality. I couldn’t pick certain items to keep, because I would feel bad for the ones I would be getting rid of.

Not long after our move, I found myself looking for a particular garment that would have been perfect for a certain occasion (funeral, any one?), only to remember it had been donated. Ditto for some book that I hoped to reference. Then there were those cooking utensils, unused for twenty years of marriage, needed for a recipe Jagdish was concocting in our condo. This was further complicated by the fact that I’m still not sure where I stored things after the move, making me wonder whether an item survived the downsizing.

AARP the Magazine had an article by Suze Orman, the financial guru, wherein she provided seven guidelines for a “sunny” retirement. What caught my eye was number 6: Spend Wisely. Orman recommended setting up two buckets, one for needs and one for wants. Then you use each only for what it’s been set up to do. This presumes you’ve done a proper job of estimating your needs so that bucket is adequate. It also assumes that what you consider to be wants (rather than needs) doesn’t change over time. Good luck with that.

When Marie Kondo gives advice on tidying up, she tells us to get rid of the things that don’t bring us joy. She’s focused on folks long before their golden years. With my great purge well in my rear view, I realize that what warmed my heart when I was still working was sometimes different from what gives me pleasure in retirement.

This is partly because I now have time available for what used to be considered frivolous activities—wasted time back then. I’ve learned to savor small pleasures. Not simple pleasures—small pleasures. Little things that wouldn’t even have been on my radar when I was working. I’m discovering classic TV series like Monk that I never watched in their prime. I’m reading more. Many days I take afternoon naps without feeling guilty.

Here’s a shocker. I’ve become a fan of the Dollar Tree. I used to joke about people who shopped there. Now my husband and I are in one a few times each month. I discovered that they sell jigsaw puzzles, a hobby I enjoyed in my preteen years. At first, I bought them as stocking stuffers. Now I do about two puzzles a week myself. A small pleasure with a small price tag.

Then there’s EBay. I didn’t appreciate the appeal of buying there. I did, however, see it as a good place to sell items that brought me joy when I acquired them years ago but no longer give me even a tiny frisson of pleasure. While I was on the site, I did some searching of items for sale, to get a feeling for prices of things I planned to list. Since I was searching anyway, why not check out some Christmas ornaments?

I started thinking of the time doing this as “window shopping” and I could do it for hours. Eventually I started buying one or two ornaments now and then, but only when the prices were low. After all, I’m retired and on a budget. You can guess where this wound up for a person who has four Christmas trees, including two just for her cats. At first I felt a tad guilty about buying things I didn’t need just because I wanted them. But they made me happy. Opening the little shipping boxes was fun.

Suze Orman and Marie Kondo are wrong. Retirees should start their planning by making ample room in their lives—in their budgets, their homes and their schedules—for buying and doing the non-essential things they want. Small pleasures, not expensive ones. “Wasted” time, not productive tasks. Embracing clutter that is emotionally rewarding. If your retirement planning doesn’t allow for this, rejigger your plan. Expect to die sooner, if that’s what makes it work. At least you’ll go out happy! Don’t deprive yourself of small pleasures. Learn to savor them. They’re what will bring you joy.