Sunday, March 26, 2017

It’s A Mad, Mad World

Perhaps everyone went mad some time ago. Maybe I’m just noticing it more with the Presidential election behind us. Whatever the explanation, I’ve no doubt that we now live in a mad, mad world.

This notion really hit me when I heard about women in a Boston-area retirement home knitting sweaters for chickens. They provide their distaff skills for fowl that can’t keep warm in New England. These are apparently tinier birds that shed their feathers in winter months or ones that come from tropical climates. The video that accompanied the piece was adorable, and a spokesperson said egg production has improved since the birds began wearing these jumpers. It still seems like a madcap endeavor to me.

Keeping with the subject of animals, but sadly in a cruel way, a group of poachers broke into the rhino enclosure in a wildlife preserve in a Paris suburb one night. They shot and killed a rare white rhino and sawed off one of his horns. Rhino horn, when powdered, is believed to have “medicinal properties” in some Asian countries. It’s maddening that animals aren’t safe even in zoos anymore. I wish someone would cut off the erect appendages of everyone in the supply-and-demand chain for this exotic powder.

Next we have a report of a $26,500 fine for a Calgary man who tied 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair almost two years ago. His lift off went up about two and a half miles, creating a danger for airplanes. No word on whether he was still in the chair at the time. Also no explanation of why it took this long to decide the fine, which can easily be calculated to be $265 per balloon. Crazy Canadians. At least he wasn’t playing “Around the World” on the saxophone while he soared. (That was for you, Lynn.)

In the realm of good news for those on fixed incomes, we have a quote from Charles M. Becker (not Decker) of Duke University, by way of Time magazine. “Trailer parks can be thought of as gated communities for people who aren’t so wealthy.” Yeah. And jails can be thought of as gated communities for criminals, while insane asylums are gated communities for those who have gone mad since the election. They have waiting lists.

Since I can’t avoid talking politics if the subject is a mad, mad world…
Deputy Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, one of the President’s spokespersons, answered Martha Raddatz’s question about the alleged Obama wiretaps with: “I will let the President speak for himself.” Newsflash: dictionary definition: “Spokesperson: a person who speaks for someone else.” It’s not: “Spokesperson: a person who let’s someone else speak for himself.” Maybe she meant to say: “I will let the President tweet for himself.” We can’t fault her for that.

Finally, still on politics, Rex Tillerson, Trump’s Secretary of State, is also quoted in Time, saying: “I didn’t want this job.” We’re not sure that Trump wanted his new job, either. But Steve Bannon and Mike Pence would sure love to have it. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo…

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