Now that I’m retired, I’m getting
more mailings from companies suggesting ways to invest my funds, and from
organizations that want to save every animal that was in Noah’s ark. I find this
ironic, since I have less discretionary income in retirement, not more. I doubt
that I’m unusual, but just in case you have a stash you need to get rid of, read
on.
Thanks to my attorney, I’ve learned
that the GST (generation skipping transfer) tax exemption amount will decrease
at the end of this year from the $5 million Congress approved in 2010. (To
what, I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s a lot less.) We need to make those
multi-million-dollar gifts to our grandchildren before December. Unfortunately,
I don’t have any grandchildren on whom to bestow my millions. I’ll have to
settle for making gifts to charities that will put my hard earned money to good
use.
This is no problem, because a high
percentage of my mail comes from animal charities. People who know me well are
aware that I have a soft spot for just about anything that travels on four legs
and is covered in fur (or lots of hair). I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised
that word has gotten around that I’m an easy touch. But I think many 501c3’s
exist solely for the purpose of sending me heart-wrenching stories of animals
that have been tortured, abandoned or otherwise mistreated.
I continue to be amazed at the
names of some of these organizations and what my donations could accomplish
through them. I’ve put together a test to see how much you know about all of
this. Answers are at the end of the post. If you get 3 or more correct, you’ve
probably written a few checks to one of these groups yourself.
1. Which of the following is/are not legitimate 501c3 charities?
a. Heifer International
b. Best Friends Animal Society
c. Peaceable Kingdom Elephant Preserve
d. Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue
e. Flights of Fancy Parrot Sanctuary
2. Which “gift will do” statement(s)
is/are correct?
a. $20 will keep an ASPCA disaster
response trailer stocked with animal rescue equipment.
b. $100 will make you a foster parent
for an orangutan (schooling not included).
c. $250 will provide an individual kennel
for a cat awaiting adoption.
d. $850 will purchase a camel (that’s
$425 per hump…).
e. $5,000 will buy an entire ark (15
pairs of animals).
3. You can “adopt” which of the
following animals?
a. A duck name Quackers
b. A pig named Penelope
c. A donkey named Floyd
d. A pink elephant named Floyd
e. An elephant named Pink Floyd
4. Which of the following is not on the National Wildlife Federation adoption
list of protected species?
a. Barking Tree Frog
b. Horned Lizard
c. Horny Lounge Lizard
d. Humpback Whale
e. Humping Lounge Lizard
f. Vitriolic political extremist
5. If a female rabbit can have as
many as 12 baby bunnies in each litter, and she can reproduce every 30 days
during mating season (February thru October), what is the maximum number of
bunnies a warren of four female rabbits can have in one year?
a. 108
b. 360
c. 432
d. Other ________
6. Rabbit courtship
and mating are very brief, lasting only 30 to 40 seconds. (Hence the
expression: “Quick like a bunny.”) Which
member of the animal kingdom can mate in even less than 30 seconds?
Answers:
1. c and e are bogus charities.
2. All are correct.
3. You can adopt a, b or c.
4. c, e and f are not protected;
they’re prolific.
5. Trick question: zero; there was
no male rabbit…
6. Oh, come on. We all know the answer
to that.
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