Saturday, July 16, 2011

Retirement Specials - National Ice Cream Month

A special on The View alerted me to the fact that July is National Ice Cream Month, so designated by President Reagan in 1984. The special featured what can only be described as an orgy of sampling exotic flavors from ice cream purveyors around the country. The flavors included such unusual ingredients as bacon, jalapeno and alcoholic spirits like whiskey and vodka.

Not to be outdone, I’ve scoured the countryside to find ice cream flavors developed specifically to appeal to the senior palate (and digestive system.) You won’t find these on The View's website. In fact, you won’t find them anywhere except RetirementSparks. In celebration of National Ice Cream Day (which is tomorrow, the third Sunday of July,) here are the top ten flavors for the over fifty crowd.

1. Apple Sauce

A perennial favorite, this is made with a vanilla base and has swirls of Granny Smith applesauce with just a hint of cinnamon. This flavor is rumored to be the source of the expression “How do you like them apples?” but we wouldn’t bank on it.

2. Oatmeal Delight

Another popular flavor, Oatmeal Delight has a low fat vanilla base, with clumps of oatmeal, whole raisins and a soupcon of nutmeg blended into the perfect texture. Enjoy it morning, noon or night. Guilt free.

3. Prune Whip

This over-fifty choice has a butter cream base with pureed prunes swirled throughout. It’s double churned for extra air, extra lightness, extra… never mind.

4. Liver Spots

This is another vanilla-based treat, this time with carob chips throughout. It was originally served at Patricia Murphy’s in New York City and was named for how it looks, not how it tastes. It’s still available in selected restaurants, but only until 5 PM.

5. Maalox

Immediately recognizable by its bubble gum pink color, this is a combination of strawberry and peppermint. You’ll love the soothing way it coats your tummy. It’s best eaten slowly and in small spoonfuls.

6. Fiberberry

A conglomeration of the more popular berries, this flavor has a peach base and a generous amount of blueberries, blackberries and strawberries mixed throughout. Be sure to have toothpicks and floss at the ready, so you can pick out all those little seeds that will be left in your teeth. Oh, and did we mention you’ll be getting your daily requirement of fiber in one generous serving?

7. Poached Eggs

This may not sound tasty, but remember that eggs are a key ingredient in ice cream. Made with double the usual amount of cream, Poached Eggs is a decadent way to get protein into your diet without challenging your dentures, caps or whatever other hardware resides in your mouth.

8. Bananayama

One of the most mellifluously named flavors for seniors, this banana-based treat has honey-laced yams mashed throughout. High in potassium and anti-oxidants, richly colored, Bananayama is simply the bees knees.

9. Sorbet Surprise

For those who are lactose intolerant, this tangy sorbet made especially for those over fifty is a special treat. It’s non-dairy and has a surprise in the middle of each scoop. We’d tell you what that is, but then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it.

10. Decaf Espresso

This flavor has all the intensity of Espresso, but with the caffeine removed. You can eat an entire quart after dinner and still fall asleep at 9 PM. In case that’s important to you.

That rounds out our list of ten ice cream flavors especially for seniors. Be sure to have a big scoop of something rich and creamy and icy cold tomorrow. Do it for the Gipper.

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