"Fishing" for Seniors

Many of you will have heard of “catfishing.” It’s the scam used on social media sites wherein a person pretends to be someone totally different from who they really are in an effort to get personal information from strangers. I recently read about “dogfishing.” That’s a ploy that singles use as a way to meet other singles. They borrow a cute dog from someone and take it to a public place, hoping to catch the attention of someone who might not otherwise notice them.

The thinking is that cute dogs are irresistible, making their owners more attractive. Of course, this is a bait-and-switch game, since the person who borrowed Pepper doesn’t have a dog of his or her own. But the hope is that by the time the ruse is exposed, a legitimate connection will have been made. This seems harmless enough, so I decided to adapt the concept especially for single seniors.

My husband and I live on a golf course, but we don’t play. It turns out many of our neighbors don’t either and some of them are single. This gave me an idea. If you happen to be similarly situated, don’t let this prevent you from attracting the attention of a desirable mate. Just go “golffishing.” Borrow a bag and some clubs from a friend or neighbor. Position yourself near the golf cart rental station and wait for a potential mate to strike up a conversation. You might have to tip one of the staff if you plan to be there awhile, but it will be worth it.

“Golffishing” not your game? Here’s an option anyone can use: “cheffishing.” Even if all you can do is boil water, you can work this one to your advantage. Invite a group of single seniors to a brunch to sample your favorite appetizers. Order them from one of those on-line delivery services. Be sure to toss the food containers into your trash bins in the garage before anyone arrives. Scatter some appropriate recipe cards around your kitchen counter. The saying is that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Truth is: women are just as taken by a man who can cook, especially if he cleans up after himself. By the time anyone figures out that you ordered in, you’ll likely have found some other common ground to mitigate your deception.

Let’s work with a quality many folks are drawn to: physical fitness. For this one, invest in some famous label exercise gear. Under Armour is popular now. Get yourself a senior membership at a local workout place, preferably not the Y. Suit up and go “gymfishing.” This is another ploy that will work equally for both sexes. Someone who is an exercise fanatic normally won’t look twice at a person who is out of shape. And let’s face it, most seniors are. But if you seem like you’re serious about toning up, it’s a whole other ballgame. Nothing says serious better than  $150 worth of spandex and a pricey gym membership.

If physical fitness isn’t in your wheelhouse, how about reading? Even faux intellectuals can pull this one off. Joining a book club may seem obvious, but unless you’re a widower, it’s not a good idea. First, you’d have to actually read the selected book if you expect to last more than one session. Second, if you’re female, you’ll be in competition with several other women. Many of them will be vying for the attention of the scarce men to be found at these gatherings. The best places for bookfishing are your local library or a quiet park bench. Wear your reading glasses.

Of course, the ultimate come-on for most seniors is the doting grandparent. Women in particular find that irresistible. If you have grandchildren of your own, borrow them for this gambit even if they drive you crazy. Don’t have your own? Ask around your neighborhood. There’s bound to be a harried mom somewhere who’ll be grateful to have you watch Junior for a few hours. The trick with “grandfishing” is to find the right venue to settle into with your charge. Indoor malls where seniors go to walk in small groups is a good place to start. With just one little fellow in tow, you’ll have the chance to check out several potential matches.

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. Pay attention to what seems to interest the singles in your community and you’ll get other “fishing” ideas that could work for you. Of course, there’s always that universal lure—“dogfishing.” Why not borrow a dog from the local shelter? At our age there’s no shame in what we do for love. You might even decide to adopt for real.

Copyright 2019 Elaine M. Decker