I recently finished reading Just My Type, a clever book on the
history of type and the development of fonts. The inside of the cover has a Periodic
Table of Typefaces (H Helvetica, F Futura, Ba Baskerville, for example). It
inspired me to create a Periodic Table of Retirement Ailments. As with the
Periodic Table of Elements, with its Noble Gasses, Rare Earths, Haloids and
such, this table of ailments groups families of items together and color codes
them.
Full Table
Left Side of Table, enlarged
Right Side of Table, enlarged
As you can see in the charts above,
we begin with the Ignoble Gasses (H Halitosis, He Heartburn, etc.). Moving
on, we have the Precious Mentals (e.g. Bk Bad Karma), followed by the
Transition Mentals (F Forgetfulness…) and the Transition Physicals (Sh
Shortness of Breath…).
Other familiar groups are the Rare
Earthy Pleasures (Br Bragging Addiction and so on), the Digestoids (Bb Belly Bloat…)
and the Hairloids (Bh Blue Hair…). The final groups are the Ophthal-Oral
Elements (beginning with Ca Cataracts), the Dermal-Otals (Ls Liver Spots…) and the
Nasal Passages (Sn Snoring…).
Be sure to also note the subgroups
Social Security Complaints (“atomic” numbers 57 – 71) and Medicare Ailments
(numbers 89 – 103) and the frequently forgotten Lost Thoughts (Lt, down at number
118).
I hope you find this chart useful
in understanding how your retirement ailments relate to one another. A
wall-sized version may be available in the future. Or not.
NOTE: If the post does not show this chart large enough to read, I will be doing a second post with the chart in two pieces.
Secret message: Hippo Birdie Two Meece.
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