Are you interested in lowering your
BMI (Body Mass Index)? If your lingerie budget is as skimpy as mine
post-retirement, before you spring for the caffeine panties I wrote about last
week, you might want to look into yoga exercises. They not only relax you and
tone your body, they’re purported to help keep your weight under control.
There are quite a few exercises that
shouldn’t be too challenging for seniors, but would still provide benefits.
Several of them can be done using chairs and walls, and therefore don’t require
us to get down on a mat. Or more importantly, to get up from one when we’re
done. However, most of the ones I’m sharing today have you at least partly on
the floor. You can thank me later.
Yoga helps stretch our muscles,
ligaments and tendons. It also improves our flexibility and increases our range
of motion, all admirable objectives. According to health.howstuffworks.com, “you
don't need to be able to tie yourself in knots to become more flexible.” That’s
a relief. I always thought that true yogis needed the ability to turn
themselves into pretzels. On that note, let’s try some poses.
We’re starting with the One-legged Breaking Wind Pose to help get
rid of excess stomach gas. Lie on your back with arms and legs extended. Exhale,
draw your knees to your chest and clasp your hands around them until you break
wind. Straighten just your left leg, extending it along the floor. Then bring
your left knee back to your chest and hold until you fart again. Release and
extend your right leg. Bring your right knee back to your chest and exhale for
one final wind breaker. I hope you feel better now.
Legs
in Parentheses improves flexibility and has been adapted especially for
seniors. Sit on the floor and spread your legs apart as much as you comfortably
can. If you’re able to straighten them quite widely, by all means, go
for the traditional Legs in V. But feel
free to bend your knees slightly into parentheses. Lean forward and feel your
leg muscles stretching as you count to ten. Lean back. Repeat.
The Shiva Shiver is an obscure yoga pose
that helps you lose weight. Supposedly, if you shiver for one hour, you burn 400
calories. Stand in front of your freezer in your underwear. Open the door and
put your head inside. Within a few minutes, you should start to shiver. Stay
like this for 15 minutes and you’ll burn 100 calories. Hint: empty the freezer
out first, in case you fall in, and set a timer to revive you when you’re done.
The Shiva Shiver gives new meaning to
the phrase “freezer burn.”
Quarter
Spinal Twist is great for women with osteoporosis;
it lengthens and strengthens your spine. So put on some Chubby
Checker and let’s do The Twist. Sit with
the bottoms of your feet under your butt. Then place your left foot flat on the
floor next to your right knee. If you can’t reach the floor with your foot flat,
touch with just your toe. Twist to the left a quarter turn until your foot
comes off the floor, or until your muffin top pinches. Switch feet and legs and
twist again.
One of my favorite positions is Downward Facing Cat. It helps us strengthen
our abdominal and back muscles, improving our balance. Get down on all fours,
like a cat. If you’re not sure how this looks, go to your local animal shelter
and adopt a cat. Bring it home and watch it for a few hours. Then stretch like your
feline friend, rounding your spine, with your head down. DoingA360.com/Basic-Yoga-Poses says: “As you reverse this… the head
comes up and the belly droops.” Boy, have I got this position covered!
The unfortunately-named Corpse pose helps you relax at the end
of your yoga session. I didn’t need a website to tell me that. I doze off
almost every time I do the Corpse. I
just never had a name for it. Climbing
the Wall is a variation for seniors. Lie on your back on the floor with
legs straight up against a wall, arms slightly out from your sides. Then wiggle
around. It’s a good way to scratch your back when it’s driving you crazy. It’s
also the end of our session.
Master these six yoga poses and
you’ll be well on your way to senior Nirvana, with lower blood pressure, better
balance and improved flexibility. Some of you will also have a lower BMI and a new
cat to keep you warm. I’m here to serve.
