Many of you will have heard of
“catfishing.” It’s the scam used on social media sites wherein a person
pretends to be someone totally different from who they really are in an effort
to get personal information from strangers. I recently read about “dogfishing.”
That’s a ploy that singles use as a way to meet other singles. They borrow a
cute dog from someone and take it to a public place, hoping to catch the
attention of someone who might not otherwise notice them.
The thinking is that cute dogs are
irresistible, making their owners more attractive. Of course, this is a
bait-and-switch game, since the person who borrowed Pepper doesn’t have a dog
of his or her own. But the hope is that by the time the ruse is exposed, a
legitimate connection will have been made. This seems harmless enough, so I
decided to adapt the concept especially for single seniors.
My husband and I live on a golf
course, but we don’t play. It turns out many of our neighbors don’t either and
some of them are single. This gave me an idea. If you happen to be similarly
situated, don’t let this prevent you from attracting the attention of a
desirable mate. Just go “golffishing.” Borrow a bag and some clubs from a
friend or neighbor. Position yourself near the golf cart rental station and
wait for a potential mate to strike up a conversation. You might have to tip
one of the staff if you plan to be there awhile, but it will be worth it.
“Golffishing” not your game? Here’s
an option anyone can use: “cheffishing.” Even if all you can do is boil water,
you can work this one to your advantage. Invite a group of single seniors to a
brunch to sample your favorite appetizers. Order them from one of those on-line
delivery services. Be sure to toss the food containers into your trash bins in
the garage before anyone arrives. Scatter some appropriate recipe cards around
your kitchen counter. The saying is that the way to a man’s heart is through
his stomach. Truth is: women are just as taken by a man who can cook, especially
if he cleans up after himself. By the time anyone figures out that you ordered
in, you’ll likely have found some other common ground to mitigate your
deception.
Let’s work with a quality many
folks are drawn to: physical fitness. For this one, invest in some famous label
exercise gear. Under Armour is popular now. Get yourself a senior membership at
a local workout place, preferably not the Y. Suit up and go “gymfishing.” This
is another ploy that will work equally for both sexes. Someone who is an
exercise fanatic normally won’t look twice at a person who is out of shape. And
let’s face it, most seniors are. But if you seem like you’re serious about
toning up, it’s a whole other ballgame. Nothing says serious better than $150 worth of spandex and a pricey gym
membership.
If physical fitness isn’t in your
wheelhouse, how about reading? Even faux intellectuals can pull this one off. Joining
a book club may seem obvious, but unless you’re a widower, it’s not a good idea.
First, you’d have to actually read the selected book if you expect to last more
than one session. Second, if you’re female, you’ll be in competition with
several other women. Many of them will be vying for the attention of the scarce
men to be found at these gatherings. The best places for bookfishing are your
local library or a quiet park bench. Wear your reading glasses.
Of course, the ultimate come-on for
most seniors is the doting grandparent. Women in particular find that irresistible.
If you have grandchildren of your own, borrow them for this gambit even if they
drive you crazy. Don’t have your own? Ask around your neighborhood. There’s
bound to be a harried mom somewhere who’ll be grateful to have you watch Junior
for a few hours. The trick with “grandfishing” is to find the right venue to
settle into with your charge. Indoor malls where seniors go to walk in
small groups is a good place to start. With just one little fellow in tow,
you’ll have the chance to check out several potential matches.
These are just a few suggestions to
get you started. Pay attention to what seems to interest the singles in your
community and you’ll get other “fishing” ideas that could work for you. Of
course, there’s always that universal lure—“dogfishing.” Why not borrow a dog from
the local shelter? At our age there’s no shame in what we do for love. You
might even decide to adopt for real.
Copyright 2019 Elaine M. Decker
