5 Shades of Not Gray

The 2016 presidential election is over. Half of us are elated; many of us are depressed or angry or scared. Some are searching for a middle ground that will give us a reason for hope. The way forward is to find areas where black and white can blend into commonly acceptable shades of gray. I’m in the third group, but there are certain issues that for me are distinctly black and white, for which there are no shades of gray. Most of these are likely to land in the black-robed laps of the Supreme Court justices.

A Woman’s Right to Choose

The rhetoric of conservatives not withstanding, no woman is pro abortion. We all want to see fewer unplanned and unwanted pregnancies. That’s one reason we support Planned Parenthood. What we are pro is a woman’s right to choose the medical procedures to which her body will be subjected. If the Supreme Court tips significantly to the right and Roe v. Wade is overturned, we will be headed back to dark days.

I do not want young women to experience the fear and the trauma of secretly searching for an illegal abortion. I don’t want them wondering if the “physician” standing over them is legitimate, is truly trained. I don’t want them hoping they’ll wake up whole after the procedure, still able to bear children when they are ready. Those of us who were in our prime during that time do not have to imagine this. We lived it with our sisters.

An Individual’s Right to Marry the Person They Love

There is no room for compromise here. A man has the right to take a husband and a woman to take a wife. Conservative voices insist that marriage can only be between a man and a woman because the Church (or the Bible) says so. They’re confusing the sacrament of marriage with the sanctity of marriage. A religious institution has the right to reserve its sacrament for heterosexual couples, but marriage can take place outside a church or temple.

Many who are against same-sex marriage claim that civil unions should be good enough. Reserving marriage for heterosexual couples only serves to take the concept of love out of the relationship. Since a man and a woman can marry without religious involvement, what then distinguishes a committed couple labeled one way from a couple labeled another is anatomy. That means the conservative definition of “marriage” no longer has anything to do with love; it’s just about body parts.

Those against same-sex marriage seem to be mistaking Velcro for love. Velcro is the stuff where one side needs to have hooks and the other needs loops. Love has no such hooks-and-loops requirement. Lasting love is a matter of the heart, not the anatomy. So should marriage be.

The Protection of Our Environment

Mother Earth must remain sacred not just to Native Americans, but also to those who have the power to regulate the industries that endanger her. We have an obligation to protect the environment for future generations. Climate change is not a political hoax. 2016 is on track to be the hottest year on record, besting 2015, which bested 2014. Our new President wants to cut funding for the EPA, perhaps eliminating it altogether. He may cancel the Paris Accord, through which 190 countries have agreed to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

If the second largest polluter in the world feels no need to protect our air, why would those lower down the totem pole feel a need? Clean Power Plant regulations are already under litigation and deemed unlikely to survive a Supreme Court challenge. There is no do over on this. If preventable pollution is allowed to continue, we’ll see rising oceans, extreme droughts, food in short supply and species becoming extinct. One of those could be homo sapiens. Or more accurately in this case, homo not-so-sapiens.

A Reduction in Income Inequality

This is admittedly a complicated task. Those who are willing and able to work must earn a living wage. Women must earn the same as men who do the same job. Healthcare must be affordable for all. The government at all levels must prepare workers for the new economy with training, access to new technology and affordable college. I’m not advocating for any particular programs, but the goal of reducing income inequality is non-negotiable.

The Dignity of the Individual

If this election teaches us just one thing, it must be that we need to return to civility, to a culture of mutual respect. Words and actions have consequences. Angela Merkel expressed this idea elegantly. She called on our new President to uphold “the dignity of man, independent of origin, skin colour, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or political views.” That sums up my fifth shade of “not gray” perfectly.

Retirement Transitions - Sneaking Exercise

My first thought when the flier boldly titled "Renew" arrived in the mail was: “AARP has redeemed itself.” The mailing came hot on the heels of the bulletin with the sex video ad and was subtitled: “Easy Ways To Sneak Exercise into Your Day.”

On closer inspection, clarity and disappointment set in. The clarity was that the flier came not from AARP, but from my supplemental health care provider licensed to use their logo. The disappointment was that by the end of paragraph one, I was promised only a way to maintain my weight, not lose any. Since I’m now at my maximum weight ever, the last thing I want to do is maintain it. Searching for that glass half full (and hoping it will contain some red wine,) I read on.

The first tip was: “Bending and lifting keep your body in motion.” Unfortunately, my problem is not so much keeping my body in motion as it is getting it in motion in the first place. Furthermore, they recommended reaching higher as a way to increase calories burned. In my extensive experience, reaching higher is a reliable way for someone under 5 feet 2 inches to pull a muscle, thus making it even harder to overcome inertia for the next few days.

The flier also suggested hefting cans of beans a few times when unloading groceries, using them like hand weights. In our kitchen we use mostly fresh vegetables, but I assume canned soup would do. However, there are three sets of hand weights of varying poundage in the house. If I don’t heft them, it’s not likely I’ll be inspired to heft soup cans, other than to stretch too high to put them into the cupboard. If we’re talking wine bottles, that’s a whole different story. If I pull my back out pumping wine, I can just open a bottle and drink away the pain.

There was also a little trick for when you’re stuck in line at the bank (or the Social Security office.) “Boost your balance by standing on one foot, then the other.” I don’t know about you, but if I saw someone shifting from foot to foot, I’d figure they were desperate for a bathroom. That’s one of the problems that have not yet caught up with me in retirement. I have no desire to make folks think it has, but if it helped me move up in line, I might consider it.

The tips on sneaking exercise ended at the bottom of page one. Page two provided a safety check list. Halfway down it urged me to make sure that frequently used items are stored in cabinets within easy reach. I hate to be picky. Actually, that’s not true. I love being picky. It’s one of my more endearing traits. Just ask my husband.

Anyway, it seems to me that the “put it where it’s convenient” advice flies in the face of “find ways to reach even higher.” Are they deliberately trying to confuse me? Or is this a test to see if I’m paying attention? Maybe the “sneaky” in the headline wasn’t about the exercise after all. Maybe it was about the editor. If so, here’s a message for Sneakypants. “Put it where it’s not at all convenient.”

I should be more charitable. At least they didn’t have mid-afternoon quickies as one of the ways to sneak some exercise into my day. The contradictions probably weren’t intentional. Maybe they hired a cadre of retirees to write the articles and then some lazy, sloppy, not-yet-retired editor plopped them into the flier without taking time to read it as a unified piece.

If that’s the case, I have some advice for Sloppypants about proofing for continuity and clarity. (For those who missed last week’s post, it’s from the headline in the AARP sex video ad.) “It’s never too late to learn something new!”

Come to think of it, maybe pumping wine isn’t such a bad way to sneak some exercise after all. I’ll drink to that.

Retirement Healthcare et al—The Complexities of Simplification

One of the most common goals of retirement is to simplify life. The day that my Medicare began, I went from one health insurance card to three—basic Medicare, supplemental coverage and prescription coverage. I wasn’t on it for even a week when a fourth card arrived in the mail. What part of “simplify” does the government not understand?

The fourth card is for prescriptions that aren’t covered by the third card, but it costs nothing. The papers that came with it say I should be sure to use the third card before using the fourth one. Of course, they don’t refer to them as cards three and four. They are the card for Part D and the card for “the AARP Prescription Discount Program.” If the discount program card costs nothing and I received it without even asking, why isn’t it just folded into Part D, the third card (which I also have through AARP)? That would be too simple.

So let’s get back to counting retirement cards. Four for my healthcare coverage, plus my AARP card, and I’m sure I’ll get some type of card when I start collecting Social Security. That makes six and leaves me just one short of having a card for every day of the week. Which brings back fond memories of that set of embroidered panties I had in the sixth grade. The Saturday ones were my favorites. Sigh.

That in turn reminds me how my mother always told us to be sure to wear clean underpants each day. “You never know when you might get hit by a truck and be rushed to the hospital. Think how embarrassing it would be if you arrived there with dirty undies, or worse yet (gasp!) ones with holes in them.” (I can see a lot of you out there smiling, because your mothers said the same thing to you.)

But I bet when you were in kindergarten (and took the second bus,) she didn’t make you bring a brown paper bag with clean underpants for your brother in first grade (first bus.) This because she couldn’t find yesterday’s pair, and it never occurred to her that he might have put them into the hamper. Talk about embarrassing. I’m not sure he’s forgiven me to this day. I actually made him put them on, even when he insisted his were clean. My mother had made me promise to.

Since I seem to have your attention on this tangent, please raise your hands. How many of you turned this around on your mother your freshman year in college? When I came home with leopard print bikinis in my laundry, my mother was horrified. “What if someone saw these?” she wailed. (Duh. Yes indeed, what if. One could always hope…) To which I replied in my most innocent voice, “Yes, but mother, if I got hit by a truck, at least I’d have on clean ones with no holes.” She was not amused.

And to think this all started with me counting healthcare cards. Mom always had a knack for making everyone smile. I guess she still does. Double sigh.