The other night I dreamed that I
was walking thru a mall when a woman came up and gave me a big “hello.” Though
she called me by my name, I had no idea who she was. I mumbled something about
not being able to see who she was because I didn’t have on my “facial
recognition” glasses. We chatted a bit and went on our separate ways. I still
had no clue who she was or how I knew her.
This dream was odd for several
reasons. For one thing, I’m almost never in a mall. More likely we would have met
in a supermarket, but you can’t control your dreams. And I’ve never heard of
those glasses (which I doubt even exist). Even stranger, in the dream I
thought: “This could make a good blog post,” and I actually remembered that
when I woke up.
So here it is. I have reading
glasses (aka “cheaters”) and driving glasses. But there are other uses for
which neither of these is quite right.
Take watching TV for instance. The
TV is too close to be in driving range. But some of the type that sometimes crawls
along the bottom is too far away for cheaters. Glasses tailored specifically
for TV would be a godsend.
Ditto for using the computer. My
eye doctor suggested using cheaters that are slightly weaker than my reading
ones when I’m on the computer. That helps, but I’m sure there’s a way to
improve on this.
How about the mice type on medicine
bottles and the RDA panels on groceries? My cheaters need to click into
overdrive for me to read those and I’m still left squinting.
And of course, there’s the “facial
recognition” ones that started all of this. Someone needs to miniaturize the
smart phone technology and pair it with eyeglasses. These "smart glasses" would “talk” to a
database of faces, names, and the context of how you know the person. The
deluxe model could include names of their family members and pets, birthdays
and such. A lot of sales people would pay a bundle for those. They’ be the
ultimate “cheaters.”
No one wants to have a half-dozen
specialized eyeglasses hanging around their neck. That means the ideal glasses
will have all of this technology merged into one pair. It could have a menu
that could “drop down” inside your eyelids. You’d blink at the functionality
desired and voilà! Customized vision
enhancement.
The final feature I’d like to see would be a
self-tracking beacon, so I could find where I left the glasses. Or maybe they
could walk on their “arms” and find me.
I’m not holding my breath for any of these to
become available. So if I don’t recognize you the next time our paths cross in
the mall or market, please forgive me. My eyesight and my memory are both on
that downward trajectory that comes with age. If you delicately slip into our
conversation your name and how I know you, I’ll be glad to tell you all about
my idea for smarter glasses.
