O Christmas Tree—Real or Fake?

I’ve always had a fresh Christmas tree. Some years I’ve put up three of them. I’m not counting the little artificial trees for my cats. I’m talking about ones that are six to eight feet tall and smell like the forest has come into your home. I trim each one with ornaments on a different theme—whimsical animals and other colorful objects, metallic stars and snowflakes, glass balls hand blown by local craftsmen.

As my husband and I have aged, it’s become more difficult to get the live trees into their stands. Not to mention getting them straight once they’re in them. We used to laugh when we went through that process, but about two years ago we realized it wasn’t funny anymore. Still, I resisted going fake, lest I evolve into one of those eccentric women who keep their trees up all year.

In my mind, there are four stages of eccentricity. Stage one, you take off the ornaments, stash the tree in a far corner of the room and cover it with an old sheet. Stage two, you leave the ornaments on, but still stash and cover. Stage three, the tree is in the corner, but you no longer bother with the sheet. By stage four, you’re keeping it lit all year. No. This was not a picture of what I wanted to become.

Remembering the prior year’s struggle with our live tree, I broke with tradition last year and bought an artificial one. We found it at Michaels for just $159. It was seven and a half feet tall, but our double-height living room made it appear stunted. The déclassé twine we used to tie it to the wall didn’t help. By Christmas Eve, I was so tormented by my decision that I went out and bought a live tree. The tallest I could find that late was five feet, and we put it on our three-season porch.

Now that I’m a year older and at least one inch shorter, if I want a tree that isn’t dwarfed in our living room, it probably can’t be a live one. As Christmas approaches, I’m searching on-line for artificial trees. I’ve seen some that look almost real. And definitely not déclassé.

Balsam Hill has a good selection, but the number of options is confusing. There are three degrees of “realism”—most realistic, realistic and traditional. Of course I want one that’s realistic. I’m feeling guilty even considering this. But I’m a traditionalist when it comes to my tree. I have no idea what the distinction is, so I put a pin in this decision for now. (Wedding planners on Hallmark romcoms are always “putting pins” in things that need to be resolved.)

Size is another factor. The 10 - 12 feet category seems right for our ceiling. This height comes only in “most realistic” and prices range from $1,699 (now on sale for $1,199) to $2,999 (now $1,999). Apparently, I need to think smaller. The next category down offers all three degrees of realism in a mere 73 combinations. I decide to pull out the realism pin and opt for the middle level. The trees that show up are all 9 feet tall. I can live with that.

The next decision is lights: lit (clear, multi, combo or LED) or unlit. I put another pin in this. Pin in, pin out, pin in. This is giving me vertigo. The prices on these are “just” $1,099 (now on sale for $749) to $1,499 (now $1,049). In addition to those lighting options, I’m offered four needle types. I feel my ADHD kicking in. Desperate to take control of this process, I decide to go with clear lights, either conventional or LED, giving me six choices, which seems manageable.

Now we have needle types: Black Spruce, Durango Douglas Fir, Scotch Pine and Rocky Mountain Pine. This last comes in a “teardrop” shape that is “perfect for hanging delicate ornaments.” I take that to mean the branches will sag under my collection of blown glass balls. Other variations are said to be good for “heavier” ornaments. Does that mean the branches will be too dense for my dangly treasures? I feel another pin coming. Or maybe it’s needles. Needles and pins. (Am I hearing music?)

Good news! For just $19, I can order a branch sample kit with 22 choices that match up to all the trees I’m considering and then some. I spring for the kit, put a pin in the tree decision and head for the wine rack. Maybe a fresh tree isn’t such a bad idea after all. I’ll just need to find someone to help put it up and take it down. I put a pin in that, too.

5 Shades of Not Gray

The 2016 presidential election is over. Half of us are elated; many of us are depressed or angry or scared. Some are searching for a middle ground that will give us a reason for hope. The way forward is to find areas where black and white can blend into commonly acceptable shades of gray. I’m in the third group, but there are certain issues that for me are distinctly black and white, for which there are no shades of gray. Most of these are likely to land in the black-robed laps of the Supreme Court justices.

A Woman’s Right to Choose

The rhetoric of conservatives not withstanding, no woman is pro abortion. We all want to see fewer unplanned and unwanted pregnancies. That’s one reason we support Planned Parenthood. What we are pro is a woman’s right to choose the medical procedures to which her body will be subjected. If the Supreme Court tips significantly to the right and Roe v. Wade is overturned, we will be headed back to dark days.

I do not want young women to experience the fear and the trauma of secretly searching for an illegal abortion. I don’t want them wondering if the “physician” standing over them is legitimate, is truly trained. I don’t want them hoping they’ll wake up whole after the procedure, still able to bear children when they are ready. Those of us who were in our prime during that time do not have to imagine this. We lived it with our sisters.

An Individual’s Right to Marry the Person They Love

There is no room for compromise here. A man has the right to take a husband and a woman to take a wife. Conservative voices insist that marriage can only be between a man and a woman because the Church (or the Bible) says so. They’re confusing the sacrament of marriage with the sanctity of marriage. A religious institution has the right to reserve its sacrament for heterosexual couples, but marriage can take place outside a church or temple.

Many who are against same-sex marriage claim that civil unions should be good enough. Reserving marriage for heterosexual couples only serves to take the concept of love out of the relationship. Since a man and a woman can marry without religious involvement, what then distinguishes a committed couple labeled one way from a couple labeled another is anatomy. That means the conservative definition of “marriage” no longer has anything to do with love; it’s just about body parts.

Those against same-sex marriage seem to be mistaking Velcro for love. Velcro is the stuff where one side needs to have hooks and the other needs loops. Love has no such hooks-and-loops requirement. Lasting love is a matter of the heart, not the anatomy. So should marriage be.

The Protection of Our Environment

Mother Earth must remain sacred not just to Native Americans, but also to those who have the power to regulate the industries that endanger her. We have an obligation to protect the environment for future generations. Climate change is not a political hoax. 2016 is on track to be the hottest year on record, besting 2015, which bested 2014. Our new President wants to cut funding for the EPA, perhaps eliminating it altogether. He may cancel the Paris Accord, through which 190 countries have agreed to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

If the second largest polluter in the world feels no need to protect our air, why would those lower down the totem pole feel a need? Clean Power Plant regulations are already under litigation and deemed unlikely to survive a Supreme Court challenge. There is no do over on this. If preventable pollution is allowed to continue, we’ll see rising oceans, extreme droughts, food in short supply and species becoming extinct. One of those could be homo sapiens. Or more accurately in this case, homo not-so-sapiens.

A Reduction in Income Inequality

This is admittedly a complicated task. Those who are willing and able to work must earn a living wage. Women must earn the same as men who do the same job. Healthcare must be affordable for all. The government at all levels must prepare workers for the new economy with training, access to new technology and affordable college. I’m not advocating for any particular programs, but the goal of reducing income inequality is non-negotiable.

The Dignity of the Individual

If this election teaches us just one thing, it must be that we need to return to civility, to a culture of mutual respect. Words and actions have consequences. Angela Merkel expressed this idea elegantly. She called on our new President to uphold “the dignity of man, independent of origin, skin colour, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or political views.” That sums up my fifth shade of “not gray” perfectly.