I’ve always had a fresh Christmas
tree. Some years I’ve put up three of them. I’m not counting the little artificial
trees for my cats. I’m talking about ones that are six to eight feet tall and
smell like the forest has come into your home. I trim each one with ornaments
on a different theme—whimsical animals and other colorful objects, metallic
stars and snowflakes, glass balls hand blown by local craftsmen.
As my husband and I have aged, it’s
become more difficult to get the live trees into their stands. Not to mention
getting them straight once they’re in them. We used to laugh when we went
through that process, but about two years ago we realized it wasn’t funny
anymore. Still, I resisted going fake, lest I evolve into one of those
eccentric women who keep their trees up all year.
In my mind, there are four stages
of eccentricity. Stage one, you take off the ornaments, stash the tree in a far
corner of the room and cover it with an old sheet. Stage two, you leave the
ornaments on, but still stash and cover. Stage three, the tree is in the
corner, but you no longer bother with the sheet. By stage four, you’re keeping
it lit all year. No. This was not a picture of what I wanted to become.
Remembering the prior year’s
struggle with our live tree, I broke with tradition last year and bought an
artificial one. We found it at Michaels for just $159. It was seven and a half feet
tall, but our double-height living room made it appear stunted. The déclassé twine
we used to tie it to the wall didn’t help. By Christmas Eve, I was so tormented
by my decision that I went out and bought a live tree. The tallest I could find
that late was five feet, and we put it on our three-season porch.
Now that I’m a year older and at
least one inch shorter, if I want a tree that isn’t dwarfed in our living room,
it probably can’t be a live one. As Christmas approaches, I’m searching on-line
for artificial trees. I’ve seen some that look almost real. And definitely not
déclassé.
Balsam Hill has a good selection,
but the number of options is confusing. There are three degrees of
“realism”—most realistic, realistic and traditional. Of course I want one
that’s realistic. I’m feeling guilty even considering this. But I’m a
traditionalist when it comes to my tree. I have no idea what the distinction is,
so I put a pin in this decision for now. (Wedding planners on Hallmark romcoms are
always “putting pins” in things that need to be resolved.)
Size is another factor. The 10 - 12
feet category seems right for our ceiling. This height comes only in “most
realistic” and prices range from $1,699 (now on sale for $1,199) to $2,999 (now
$1,999). Apparently, I need to think smaller. The next category down offers all
three degrees of realism in a mere 73 combinations. I decide to pull out the
realism pin and opt for the middle level. The trees that show up are all 9 feet
tall. I can live with that.
The next decision is lights: lit (clear,
multi, combo or LED) or unlit. I put another pin in this. Pin in, pin out, pin
in. This is giving me vertigo. The prices on these are “just” $1,099 (now on
sale for $749) to $1,499 (now $1,049). In addition to those lighting options, I’m
offered four needle types. I feel my ADHD kicking in. Desperate to take control
of this process, I decide to go with clear lights, either conventional or LED, giving
me six choices, which seems manageable.
Now we have needle types: Black
Spruce, Durango Douglas Fir, Scotch Pine and Rocky Mountain Pine. This last comes
in a “teardrop” shape that is “perfect for hanging delicate ornaments.” I take
that to mean the branches will sag under my collection of blown glass balls.
Other variations are said to be good for “heavier” ornaments. Does that mean
the branches will be too dense for my dangly treasures? I feel another pin
coming. Or maybe it’s needles. Needles and pins. (Am I hearing music?)
Good news! For just $19, I can
order a branch sample kit with 22 choices that match up to all the trees I’m
considering and then some. I spring for the kit, put a pin in the tree decision
and head for the wine rack. Maybe a fresh tree isn’t such a bad idea after all.
I’ll just need to find someone to help put it up and take it down. I put a pin
in that, too.
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