A photo in a magazine showed a huge
black cloud of birds, high above rooftops. It was described as a ‘murmuration
of starlings.’ I’d heard of a ‘gaggle of geese’ and an ‘exaltation of larks,’
but never ‘murmuration.’ I was entranced and instantly fell in love with the
term. A little Googling turned up a ‘gulp of swallows,’ a ‘convocation of
eagles,’ and — be still my heart — an ‘ostentation of peacocks.’
It turns out many of these are poetic
inventions, often centuries old, and several books on such terms have been
published over the years. The website WorldWideWords.org
tells us: Type ‘collective
nouns’ into any Web search engine: you’ll find dozens of sites featuring them,
though the level of wit is sadly variable.
Upon reading Michael
Quinion’s article on collective nouns, I likewise instantly fell in love with his
website. I also decided that I have an obligation to come up with some witty
‘collective nouns’ for retirees and seniors. Here goes.
Recreational
groups:
A
gabble of Mah Jong players, gossiping about their neighbors
A
sproutation of garden club members, repotting their seedlings
A
slithering of shuffleboard addicts, slipping their discs
A
procrastination of checkers enthusiasts, plotting their moves
A
bouffant of square dancers at the community center hoedown
A muster of dominoes aficionados, lining up
their tiles
Some everyday collectives:
A
scootation of Hoveround® riders, headed to the mall
A
droople of Sansabelt® wearers, hiking up their pants
A tippling of sherry lovers, imbibing in the
afternoon
A
snooze of nappers, practicing their snores (after sherry hour…)
An explication of crossword puzzle buffs,
filling in the blanks
A
loopation of Velcro® devotees, adjusting their shoe straps
Medical
terms:
A
clatter of denture wearers, adjusting their teeth
A
glom of seniors on statins, trying to unclog their arteries
A
congestion of fiber enthusiasts, on line at the restroom (also trying to
unclog…)
A
tumble of folks with vertigo, riding the ‘down’ escalator
A
gimp of orthopedic patients, doing physical therapy
Special bunches of
women:
A
frumple of blue-haired old ladies, crocheting toilet paper cozies
A
noblesse of volunteers, dressed in their finest goody two shoes
A
swarm of quilters, circling at their weekly bee
A
dithering of envelope stuffers,
helping with a church mailing
An omnibustle of book club members, arguing
about character motivation
There you have it, my
list to date. I hope you find the level of wit consistently above average. Your
own suggestions are welcome, but you might want to read Quinion’s article
first: http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/collectives.htm.
Copyright 2012
Business Theatre Unlimited
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