The primaries leading up to the
Presidential election this Fall have created a new lexicon of media vocabulary.
See how many words and phrases in my Election Alphabet you’ve heard or read during
the campaigns. Don’t be surprised to see a second edition of this at year-end.
A You’re no longer adorable;
you’re abhorrent, especially if
you’re Trump’s policy about banning Muslims from entering the U.S.
B Bombastic, a bully, a bigot and a blowhard. Only one candidate has earned all these monikers.
C A carpet bomb is not an ugly rug made in the Middle East. Like Raid,
it involves an aerial assault to eradicate vermin at ground level.
D Is for divisive and disgusting,
the former frequently used to describe Trump’s rhetoric, and the latter being
his go-to word for anything his rivals do or say to offend him. But my favorite
election d-word is demagogue. That’s
because it transforms so easily into demigod,
which has me picturing Trump grunting: “Me God, You Jane.”
E Candidates positions evolve during a campaign. Evolution is
how one candidate tries to out-flank his or her opponents. Often the state
holding the next primary is a deciding factor in how much a candidate evolves.
And in which direction.
F Fingers are the new measure of someone’s manhood. In my salad days
it was feet. I suppose it’s good to know what our candidates’ hands are up to.
G Pay attention to what’s
happening at the grass roots level
and to the ground game. Do not
confuse these with gray roots or ground hogs. Or Colorado’s grass game.
H Two of Trump’s favorite words—huge to describe everything he’s going
to do (and his fingers, apparently) and horrible
to characterize his opponents.
I More
monikers for you-know-who. Irrational,
ill-informed, irascible and irritating.
J Is for Japan. See Nuclear Triad (Donald Trump’s).
K Kerfuffle describes a back-and-forth between candidates that’s reported
in the media. Both parties fuel kerfuffles, especially during political talk
shows.
L Labels Trump
uses for his opponents—low-energy
(originally stuck on Jeb Bush, now transferred to Hillary) and liar, liar, pants on fire (slapped onto
Lyin’ Ted Cruz).
M A movement to engage first time voters, such as Bernie’s Democratic
Socialism and Trump’s White Supremacy.
N Nuclear triad—land, sea and air; or in Trump’s case—North Korea, South
Korea and Japan.
O A trio—obfuscating, obstructionist and
outsider—that describes a number of candidates. “Outsider” is supposed to be a
badge of honor. The question is whose chest it truly belongs on.
P Some pairings. Polls and primaries, in which the former seldom predict the results in the
latter. Also persona and presidential, meaning Trump’s primary
shenanigans are simply a persona he took on to fire up supporters. He assures
us that when he’s elected, he’ll be more presidential than anybody.
Q The early Republican debates were quarrelsome, querulous
and quirky.
R Is for Rat-f—ker, a peculiar descriptive employed by Ted Cruz. It was
intended to explain what he’d rather do with a rodent than with Donald Trump. Wasn’t
“none of the above” one of the choices?
S Stands for sycophants and suck-ups, two ways to portray the same people. They make up that
concrete floor of Trump supporters.
T Has to be Twitter, Trump’s main form of
communication with his sycophants and suck-ups. His tweets may set the Twittersphere
on fire, but 70% of women say he doesn’t light theirs.
U Uninformed is what Trump is on foreign
policy (see his nuclear triad). Don’t panic. He’ll be OK if you give him an
earbug with Hillary on the other end.
V Trump’s
tweets go viral. This is not the
same as virile. Someone please tell Donald.
W Walk-back—the
latest way to describe a candidate’s change in position on an issue, because “evolve”
doesn’t always cover it. Trump walked back his stance on punishment for illegal
abortions several times. I can’t leave the letter W without mentioning wives. Trump and Cruz got into a
kerfuffle over whose wife made prettier arm candy. I suppose that’s better than
arguing over whose hands are bigger.
X No, a xenophobe is not a musical instrument.
The hatred of foreigners strikes a sour note, even when it’s masquerading as
nationalism in the Republican primary.
Y Yuge is the phonetic spelling of
Trump’s favorite word to describe his accomplishments (and probably his hands).
A Yugo, on the other hand, is a defunct car. The Yugo was not yuge and was the
butt of many jokes. Draw your own conclusions.
Z Zero is the chance of election
vocabulary becoming civilized any time soon.
