Melania Trump recently made a media splash by offering an NFT of her “cobalt blue eyes” for about $180. An NFT, or “non-fungible token,” is a way to sell digital “art”. It can’t be illegally replicated or altered once it’s been created. The “artist” mints their work on one of several NFT marketplaces by creating a detailed smart contract that is then stored on a cryptocurrency blockchain. I can see your eyes are glazing over, so I’ll move on. I’m not offering any NFTs of my eyes, but I think you’ll find some interesting and affordable options here.
Digital versions of my mouth. $100 together
The real one may be the smallest adult mouth extant. I’m also providing a version resized in Photoshop. I won’t use the fixed aspect ratio, so it won’t be thicker, just wider. You can keep both versions. That way you’ll recognize me in photos that haven’t been retouched.
My right earlobe, which has been pierced crooked. $100
This is thanks to my attempt to do it myself with a sewing needle as a teenager. I panicked part way through the piercing. My neighbor, an RN, took over and finished it with a hypodermic needle. I had started it crooked and she finished on the same angle. Folks are forever telling me I’m about to lose an earing from that ear. I explain: No. It’s just pierced crooked. Your NFT of it can be a real conversation starter!
My neck wattle, which is now so prominent that it rivals Mitch McConnell’s. $125
You get a bonus with this NFT. I often camouflage my wattle with stylish neck scarves. Your digital version comes shown with the scarf of your choice. Several options are provided. Buy two and get the third one free!
My Chest Port, which is probably my most unusual NFT. $250
It’s not the most attractive NFT that I’m offering here, but I’ll bet I’m the only one who has a port for sale. It’s also my most recent bodily intrusion. That’s worth extra.
The scar from my TRAM surgery for my mastectomy. $200
It looks a lot like a Cesarean scar, and it’s the biggest scar I have, with an interesting history. The short version is that my right breast was rebuilt with a then state-of-the-art procedure using my abdomen. It was a hell of a way to get a tummy tuck.
My naval as reconstructed during my TRAM surgery. $175
It’s slightly off-center, which adds a certain cachet. It’s an innie, as was my original naval. That’s now located at the top of my reconstructed right breast. TMI so that’s not being offered as an NFT.
The U-shaped scar on the outside of my right foot. $150
What a story there! I must have been around 7 or 8 years old. I tried to pirouette around one of the metal poles holding up the awning over our neighbor’s front patio extension. I knocked over and broke the milk bottle next to the pole. I have no idea why I didn’t see it before my acrobatics. Of course it broke and cut my foot. Not badly enough to do anything more than put pressure on it to stop the bleeding, but it left a scar that I see it as a badge of honor of sorts.
Collection of smaller scars from my lung cancer medical procedures. $150 together
There’s the tiny one near my Adam’s apple from my mediastinoscopy. The biopsy from my earlier bronchoscopy at Hartford Health Care was inconclusive and had found no cancer. Second opinions from Yale and Dana Farber recommended a more thorough scoping. That was done at Yale and found cancer in three lymph nodes. Also included is the small scar on my back below my ribs from a Video Assisted Thoracic Surgery. That found cancer in some nodules on my pleural lining, making my cancer stage 4. Hence I consider this scar significant even though it’s small. These scars are being sold as a lot.
My liver spots that form popular constellations. $100 each
The Pleiades, aka seven sisters, are found on my left hand; Aquila (the eagle) decorates my right hand; the large singleton liver spot on top of my left thigh is the distinctive Evening Star, aka Venus; Cygnus (the Northern Cross) lives on my right thigh and the points of the cross are connected by spider veins. This NFT also comes with the offer to buy one constellation and get the second half off. What a deal!
There you have it. Nine exciting NFT options of digital body images of your favorite blogger. Because these are digital, I can offer multiple copies. NFT technology assures they’re authentic and non-reproducible, other than by me. All inquiries welcome.
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