As I was sitting through chemotherapy for treatment of my lung cancer, I noticed a message on the nurse’s computer opposite my chair. It read: “March is colorectal awareness month.” I thought: “I’ll bet every month is a different disease.” Which led to: “Wouldn’t it be fun to do an awareness calendar especially for seniors?” So, here goes, complete with acronyms to easily remember them by.
JANUARY starts a new year and it’s a no-brainer that this is the time to Book your Doctors’ Appointments for the year. Don’t forget your dentist and recurring tests and procedures. With the long lead times for everything medical, BDA month is the most essential entry in your annual calendar.
FEBRUARY signals Velcro Assessment Time. Have you reached the point where you should be wearing shoes and clothes with Velcro closures? VAT is when you need to assess your wardrobe with this important safety check in mind.
MARCH heralds Gold Bond Awareness, the ever-popular talcum powder for seniors (though I’m clueless as to why). When my husband and I made trips to India, Gold Bond powder was always the number one item on his sister’s “please bring” list. Celebrate GBA with gusto!
APRIL is a good time for spring cleaning. I’m making it the month to Reposition and Rotate your Throw Rugs. These are also called Scatter Rugs, depending on where you live. RRTRSR projects help keep rugs from curling up on one side, eliminating trip-and-fall hazards for seniors.
MAY is your opportunity to Count Your Liver Spots before your time in the sun presents other spots that could confuse you. CYLS month is a right of passage for seniors to keep track of how much that skin scourge progresses from year to year. Doing this in May gives you a few weeks to figure out how to cover them up before you begin your outside activities in earnest.
JUNE is when Summer approaches, and it’s time to Buff those Heels and Elbows that have become hardened and flaky throughout Winter. BHE awareness hits at the beginning of short-sleeved shirts and sandals season. Make sure you’re in your buffest shape possible so neighbors don’t tut-tut when you walk by.
JULY pits neighbors against one another in a variety of navigational and speed challenges in the Hoveround Competition. Not for the faint of heart, training for the HOVCOM begins in August of the previous year. Northerners travel south to train in winter to maintain their competitive edge.
AUGUST, aka Fiber Fest month, is a celebration of Prunes & Figs. They make up the heart of this fiber-focused month-long PFFF extravaganza. It’s guaranteed to help every participant get a move on. Look for free samples of non-sugar Shredded Wheat miniatures at events in your neighborhood.
SEPTEMBER is the month to Toss those Bed, Bath and Beyond Coupons stashed somewhere on your kitchen counter. Even though they don’t expire, you can use only so many of either type during your lifetime. So, make TBBBC into a celebration. Mail some to your sister and your niece. By the time you’ve posted their envelopes, you’ll have at least two more BBB coupons in your own mail.
OCTOBER is a great time to hold a Mah Jong Tournament. Every senior community I’ve been to has several groups of regular Mah Jong players, so a month dedicated to a MJT makes a lot of sense. Be sure to agree on tournament rules in advance. MJTs can get nasty.
NOVEMBER is a good month for a Return Label Purge. We all get multiple mailings from charities that send those cute labels for your outgoing mail. You likely have several years’ worth in a cubbyhole in your desk. Time to do an annual RLP. Toss all the ones where your name is misspelled; (you know you have those). Also ones with print type so small you can’t even read your address with your best cheater glasses on.
DECEMBER is when you should schedule your annual Underwear Assessment. As part of your UA, pay particular attention to briefs whose elastic has started to sag. Also the ones where your thumbs have poked holes through the side seams as you pulled them on or off. And of course, all those whites that are now yellow or gray must go. Make a list of what you want replaced. Then send it to your family so they can give you what you need for holiday gifts. They’ll appreciate the suggestions.
There it is. BDA, VAT, GBA, RRTRSR, CYLS, BHE, HOVCOM, PFFF, TBBBC, MJT, RLP, UA. A year of awareness months especially for seniors. And you didn’t even have to go through chemotherapy to receive it!
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