The older we get, the more we hear
about deaths in our circle of friends. For many of us, that leads to thinking
about our own final arrangements. Given the cost of funerals and the
overcrowding of cemeteries, more of us are opting for cremation. That still
leaves open the question of exactly how those we leave behind will dispose of
our ashes.
That issue is often complicated by
local laws, increasing pressure from environmentalists for ‘green’ burials, and
logistics. For starters, you have to find someone who loves you enough (or owes
you enough favors) to deal with it. Not everyone has an Aunt Edna who is
willing to have a decorative urn with you in it on her mantel. And you can’t just
dump cremains into a sand trap. If you’re considering cremation, you should
decide in advance on the disposition of your ashes.
I’ve been tuned in to new ideas on
this subject for years. I even have a file on it. A recent N. Y. Times article presented the newest offering in final
arrangements: composting. That’s right. Composting. Washington is the first
state to legalize the environmentally friendly “aboveground decomposition”
process. Check out recompose.life. Once you’ve been turned into compost, you
can be spread in a garden or wooded area to promote new life. If composting
doesn’t turn you on, stick with cremation and look into companies that will
scatter your ashes in peaceful, wooded areas.
The recent movie Poms is a chick-flick about senior women
in a retirement community who start a cheerleading club. The instigator is a
newcomer who has terminal cancer. One night she sees a commercial about having
your ashes shot into the atmosphere as part of a fireworks display. “What a glorious idea!” thought I, so I Googled
fireworks cremains.
HeavenlyStarsFireworks.com claims
to be the market leader in the incorporation of ashes into fireworks. Unfortunately,
their market is the United Kingdom. In the U.S., I found the
GreenlawnFuneralHome.com, headquartered in Missouri. One of their packages is
the aptly-named “Go Out with a Bang.”
Moving in the opposite direction,
geologically speaking, your cremains could create a coral reef. The Neptune
Society has established a 16-acre reef off Miami that’s certified by the Green
Burial Council. You can see photos at nmreef.com. EternalReefs.com is a 501c3
option. Their first “Reef Ball” project was near Ft. Lauderdale. They claim to
have projects in 70 countries and to have placed more than 70,000 reef balls. I
haven’t been able to find out what those other countries are, but maybe this
could be your chance to finally spend time in Fiji.
Most of the above options don’t enable
loved ones to pay their respects to your remains, in whatever form. Good news!
There are choices that let them keep you literally close to their hearts for
eternity. Cremation jewelry is big business and teardrop pendants are
especially popular. Perfectmemorials.com has more than 5,000 items to choose
from, priced from $5 to $2,950. My own suggestion is to have your ashes
embedded in Lucite key rings to be handed out at your memorial, sort of like
those mementos you get at weddings.
Here are some other ideas to
consider. Have your ashes mixed with tattoo ink, but be aware that it would
take full body art to use up all of them, even if your portly Uncle Biff is
your designated canvas. A British company will press the ashes into a vinyl
record of the song of your choosing, giving new meaning to “oldies but goodies.”
InTheLightUrns.com will put cremains into an hourglass after your time has run
out. I assume they sift out the residual bone chunks before they fill the glass.
Personally, I like the idea of
embedding ashes within a whimsical stone-like statue for the yard. I may do
that with my cats’ ashes. I already have several decorative critters around our
perimeter. No one would be able to tell if one of those were really a cremains
container. Plus folks can easily take the statues with them if they move.
As you can see, there are several
new options for when we shed this mortal coil. So many choices! One of them is
bound to be perfect for you. Best to plan your own final arrangements now. And
hope the person you choose to handle them outlives you.
Copyright 2019 Business Theatre Unlimited
