My favorite line from a Hallmark
Channel romcom movie was spoken by a wealthy titled gentleman. He had finally
realized that the non-titled American nanny was more worthy of his son than the
superficial and scheming Lady Sniffensnob. He rebuked Lady S with: “It seems to me that you’re the one who is
all fur coat and no knickers.” This was a Maggie Smith/Lady Violet-type
put-down worthy of an episode of Downton Abbey. (I will so miss that show…)
Then there was the political
cartoon with a diminutive Donald Trump under an enormous sombrero, posted the
week after he made his trip to Mexico. It was captioned: “All hat and no cattle.” It’s part of a Trace Adkins lyric that
also includes “All boots and no saddle.”
Most certainly, the song refers to a Stetson and not a sombrero, which made the
cartoon even funnier.
The point being driven home in both
of these expressions was that there’s an elaborate façade, but little substance
or action to back it up. Flashy equipment, but no skill behind it. I’ve put
together some more examples.
Sports offer rich potential for
this type of idiom; here are just a few.
All dribble and no
swish.
All pompoms and no
cartwheels.
All putter but no
short game.
All tutu and no en pointe.
And one that's
just too obvious to resist:
All bat but no
balls.
Next we have ones that I call
“aspirational.” Most are appropriate for men and women alike, but if your mind
works anything like mine, the first one might seem all male.
A huge corkscrew
but an empty decanter.
A flashy sports
car in a run-down garage.
A Weber grill with
ground chuck burgers. (This is my variation of “all sizzle and no steak.”)
Red-soled shoes*
with a duck waddle.
*The signature of
designer Christian Louboutin
How about some for the musicians
among us.
A Yamaha 82Z sax with a plastic mouthpiece.
A Fender Stratocaster
that doesn’t know jack.
A Stradivarius played
with a birch tree bow. (Think Deliverance.)
A Selmer clarinet for
a buck-toothed overbite.
Let’s close with ones that are
inspired by the presidential election.
All podium and no
speech.
All cross-talk and
no moderator. (OK. That’s not even an idiom, but I couldn’t resist sharing it.)
A big rally with a
lot of “Really?”
A loud bullhorn
and a lot of bull. (Again, not an idiom. My bad.)
And finally:
All pomp and no
circumstance.
