Earlier this year, Time magazine ran a spread with 29 statistics about various activities related to the year many of us spent at home during the COVID pandemic. I noticed that some of those figures could help explain others, especially ones that otherwise might seem contradictory. This essay will interpret those relationships for you. I wrote this awhile ago. Now that the pandemic is getting under control, some figures are changing, which I’ve noted.
Let’s start with sex and marriage. Unlike love, these apparently did not go together like a horse and carriage during sequester. Time reports that 44% of adults claimed their sex life declined in spring 2020. The tide may be turning. Sales of condoms are way up there this spring. Lack of sex didn’t seem to have any impact on marriages last year, though, because divorce rates declined about 22%. This may be because therapists have been extra busy helping everyone keep the peace while sequestered at home.
I have an explanation for this, based on other statistics supplied by Time. Delivery of food via home-delivery apps was up on two measures. A whopping 40% of us who had never done so before tried out those services. Moreover, orders through one of them more than tripled vs. 2019. My guess? The meals were better than what spouses were used to being served, so they had no incentive to bolt the nest.
Let’s get back to why sex declined. Some of that could have been the “Not tonight; I just got vaccinated” syndrome, but I doubt it. Other activities and changes in habits seemed to have replaced sex or discouraged it. There’s no surprise that puzzle sales tripled in 2020. I was addicted to them for months. Some of those can be extremely frustrating. Not the best mood to be in for foreplay. Add to that having just finished a gourmet meal from Door-Dash, and your spouse can forget about a happy ending.
I had at one point thought that the 10% increase in the use of residential electricity was in some way related to the decline in sex. I envisioned a lot more self-pleasuring with sex toys. Then it occurred to me that those are battery powered (so I’m told). This had me wondering about the sale of batteries during the pandemic, but Time didn’t report on that. I did a quick search on alkaline batteries trends and best I can tell, they were juiced over the past year. Sex toys may have nothing to do with that. The kids were home and probably burned through batteries with their own toys.
If the increase in food delivery wasn’t explanation enough, here’s another item that could have contributed to a decline in sex: pajamas. That’s right, pajamas. Online sales of those comfy clothes grew 143% in one month last spring. At the same time, sales of bras drooped 12%. Victoria’s Secret sales were already down coming into 2020 and jammies sure weren’t helping any. And when was the last time you read or saw anything about one of Victoria’s Secret’s angels?
The closure of barbershops may have led to some muddled sex roles. So many men grew their hair into ponytails. From a distance, it was difficult to tell if the person ahead of you was a man or a woman. Who’s to say whether that added to confusion in a darkened bedroom?
Which brings me to underwear in general. With all the time spent at home, with not much exercise and lots more comfort food, is it any wonder that sweat pants replaced thongs or bikini briefs? (Time told us that 1 in 6 health clubs and gyms closed in 2020.) Of course sex was down but divorce was, too. Why? Who would want to go on the hunt for a new partner with a pandemic bod? You can hide it only so long under loose clothing. Sooner or later a new prospective partner is going to want to see the goods.
It was enlightening to see the impact that the pandemic had on so many things in our daily lives. What started with a run on toilet paper eventually found its way to baking sourdough and adopting pets (hooray for that one!), and then to weddings being postponed or called off altogether. (Blame it on the sweat pants.)
It will be interesting to see which of these items recovers to pre-pandemic levels after we’re back to so-called normal living. I know which trends I think will be permanent. I don’t care what happens with pajamas. I’ll still hibernate in Lanz flannel nightgowns. Beyond that, I’m keeping my expectations to myself. If you’re wise, you will, too.
Copyright 2021 Business Theatre Unlimited
